1
00:00:03,018 --> 00:00:05,195
I'm thinking about
growing a goatee.
2
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,505
Oh, actually that's a Van Dyke. A
goatee is just hair on the chin.
3
00:00:08,527 --> 00:00:11,540
Oh. Wait, then what is it if
you just have hair up here?
4
00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:12,517
You mean a moustache?
5
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:14,439
- Moo-stache!
- He said it!
6
00:00:14,646 --> 00:00:17,253
Ha-ha, very funny. Make
fun of the foreign guy.
7
00:00:17,273 --> 00:00:18,996
For your information, there
are four times as many
8
00:00:19,023 --> 00:00:21,865
Indians as there are Americans,
so the way we say it is right.
9
00:00:21,881 --> 00:00:23,014
- Say what?
- Moo-stache.
10
00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:24,907
- Moo-stache!
- He said "moo-stache".
11
00:00:25,937 --> 00:00:27,411
Guys, you're
being childish.
12
00:00:27,424 --> 00:00:29,521
Yeah, she's right.
You're grown men,
13
00:00:29,528 --> 00:00:33,296
the kind who are perfectly capable
of growing your own moo-staches.
14
00:00:34,343 --> 00:00:37,324
Hey, you were funny on
purpose-- good job.
15
00:00:38,681 --> 00:00:40,781
Hi. Sorry I'm late-- I
was at an audition.
16
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,282
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- You'll get 'em next time.
17
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:48,497
How about instead of assuming I
failed, you ask me how it went?
18
00:00:48,522 --> 00:00:51,236
- Sorry. How did it go?
- Just shut up.
19
00:00:52,267 --> 00:00:54,094
- Here, you can have your seat.
- No, no, no, stay there.
20
00:00:54,114 --> 00:00:55,584
I'm fine on the floor.
21
00:00:55,964 --> 00:00:58,551
Have you guys ever thought about
getting a dining room table?
22
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:01,043
Yeah. You actually do have
room for one up there.
23
00:01:01,076 --> 00:01:03,914
Oh, sure, I sit on the floor
for years, no one cares.
24
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:07,310
The pretty white girl's there ten seconds,
and suddenly we're all running to IKEA.
25
00:01:09,099 --> 00:01:11,061
No one is
running anywhere.
26
00:01:11,081 --> 00:01:12,973
We're not getting
a dining room table.
27
00:01:12,981 --> 00:01:15,934
I know you don't like change,
but it's not a terrible idea.
28
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:18,601
Yeah, you guys never use that space
up there. Why not get a table?
29
00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:20,919
Do you want the long answer
or the short answer?
30
00:01:20,946 --> 00:01:23,324
Hey, how come we never
get that option?
31
00:01:24,374 --> 00:01:28,217
Chaos theory suggests that
even in a deterministic system,
32
00:01:28,242 --> 00:01:31,315
if the equations describing
its behavior are nonlinear,
33
00:01:31,328 --> 00:01:33,573
a tiny change in the
initial conditions
34
00:01:33,598 --> 00:01:36,691
can lead to a cataclysmic
and unpredictable result.
35
00:01:37,151 --> 00:01:38,251
Translation?
36
00:01:38,276 --> 00:01:40,647
Waah. I don't want a table!
37
00:01:44,491 --> 00:01:47,863
♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪
38
00:01:47,889 --> 00:01:51,888
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
39
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:52,961
♪ The Earth began to cool
40
00:01:52,985 --> 00:01:56,024
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
41
00:01:56,037 --> 00:01:57,986
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
42
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,769
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
43
00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:02,810
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
44
00:02:02,828 --> 00:02:03,971
♪ Bang! ♪
45
00:02:03,988 --> 00:02:06,888
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x16 ♪
The Table Polarization
Original Air Date on February 27, 2014
46
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:09,710
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
47
00:02:11,313 --> 00:02:14,253
Hey, Penny and I are gonna go
shop for a dining room table.
48
00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:15,412
You want to come with us?
49
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,976
SHELDON:
You know, I'd love to,
50
00:02:17,005 --> 00:02:22,058
but, um, I'm too busy falling
back in love with Windows 98.
51
00:02:24,109 --> 00:02:26,734
Seriously? You haven't
used this desk in years.
52
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,822
The second I want to get rid
of it, you're up here working?
53
00:02:28,835 --> 00:02:33,016
I can't talk right now-- I have
several thousand updates to install.
54
00:02:33,872 --> 00:02:35,897
Are you really gonna
sit here all day?
55
00:02:36,057 --> 00:02:40,536
Think of me as Arthur Dent in
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,
56
00:02:40,555 --> 00:02:43,757
lying in front of the
bulldozers to protect his home.
57
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:46,682
If you'll recall, the Vogon
fleet blew up the Earth anyway.
58
00:02:46,707 --> 00:02:49,826
It's a made-up story, Leonard-- I don't
even know why you're talking about it.
59
00:02:50,794 --> 00:02:53,621
I'm putting all this stuff in storage.
We don't need any of it.
60
00:02:53,636 --> 00:02:55,716
You... How can
you say that?
61
00:02:55,741 --> 00:02:58,654
You show me one thing in
here we can live without.
62
00:02:58,818 --> 00:03:00,304
Oh, hang on.
63
00:03:04,979 --> 00:03:06,441
Check your in-box.
64
00:03:07,541 --> 00:03:10,476
Wait. Is this
really worth it?
65
00:03:10,672 --> 00:03:14,335
We've lived together for
years with nary an argument.
66
00:03:14,354 --> 00:03:15,414
Huh?
67
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:19,807
But we start talking about a table, and
suddenly we're at each other's throats.
68
00:03:21,246 --> 00:03:23,322
"Nary an argument"?
69
00:03:24,796 --> 00:03:26,392
"Nary"?!
70
00:03:27,743 --> 00:03:30,340
Well, that means "not
one," or "not any".
71
00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:33,753
Maybe instead of a table, you
should buy a dictionary.
72
00:03:36,924 --> 00:03:39,719
Well, I don't know if I won
that, but at least he's upset.
73
00:03:41,943 --> 00:03:43,084
Check it out.
74
00:03:43,352 --> 00:03:45,719
(music playing on TV)
75
00:03:46,121 --> 00:03:47,888
Magic wand TV remote!
76
00:03:47,913 --> 00:03:50,306
(chuckles): Yeah, I can
control all sorts of stuff.
77
00:03:50,729 --> 00:03:52,176
Did Bernadette
think it was cool?
78
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:55,484
Not when I said "mute" and
pointed it at her face.
79
00:03:55,838 --> 00:03:57,285
Oh, uh, let me try.
80
00:03:57,313 --> 00:03:58,827
Uh...
81
00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:00,832
channelis changeroni!
82
00:04:00,850 --> 00:04:02,745
(channel changes)
83
00:04:02,772 --> 00:04:05,827
This might be my second
favorite brown magic wand.
84
00:04:10,986 --> 00:04:13,675
Well, that's the last
time I play with that.
85
00:04:14,623 --> 00:04:17,040
(ringtone plays)
86
00:04:17,246 --> 00:04:18,787
I have to take this.
87
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:20,767
Hello?
88
00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:22,080
Uh...
89
00:04:22,105 --> 00:04:23,425
off.
(TV turns off)
90
00:04:23,453 --> 00:04:25,226
And on.
(TV turns on)
91
00:04:25,251 --> 00:04:27,091
And the Oprah Network.
92
00:04:28,214 --> 00:04:31,214
This is so much better than
watching TV like a muggle.
93
00:04:32,915 --> 00:04:35,793
Okay. Thank you.
We'll be in touch.
94
00:04:36,451 --> 00:04:37,974
(low panting)
95
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,345
You're not gonna
believe this.
96
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,307
What's going on?
(TV turns off)
97
00:04:42,544 --> 00:04:43,987
Oh. Wait.
98
00:04:44,836 --> 00:04:46,170
On!
(TV turns on)
99
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,822
And off!
(TV turns off)
100
00:04:49,385 --> 00:04:50,920
What's going on?
101
00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:55,844
That was NASA.
102
00:04:56,044 --> 00:04:59,782
(chuckles softly): They want me to
go back up to the space station.
103
00:05:00,722 --> 00:05:02,322
Wow. What did
you tell them?
104
00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:04,203
I told them
I'd be honored.
105
00:05:04,663 --> 00:05:07,416
A second trip to space--
I'll miss you.
106
00:05:07,439 --> 00:05:08,896
And I'm gonna
miss you, too.
107
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:12,058
I just want you to know, I'm happy to
look in on Bernadette while you're gone.
108
00:05:12,077 --> 00:05:14,270
- Thank you. - And if anything
were to happen to you,
109
00:05:14,289 --> 00:05:16,683
we will name our
firstborn son Howard.
110
00:05:18,946 --> 00:05:22,104
I'm just kidding. We'll name him
Dilip, after my grandfather.
111
00:05:25,349 --> 00:05:27,021
Ooh, this one looks nice.
112
00:05:27,034 --> 00:05:30,016
No. Sheldon doesn't like
reclaimed wood.
113
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,143
Why not?
114
00:05:32,161 --> 00:05:34,777
He's afraid the original
owners will come back.
115
00:05:36,348 --> 00:05:38,085
Yeah. Well, Sheldon's not here.
116
00:05:38,108 --> 00:05:39,715
Well, he is here.
117
00:05:40,733 --> 00:05:43,600
So unless you want to dig him out
with a bone saw and a melon baller,
118
00:05:43,619 --> 00:05:45,464
there's nothing I
can do about it.
119
00:05:45,629 --> 00:05:47,302
All right, sweetie, you're
paying for this table,
120
00:05:47,315 --> 00:05:49,764
- and it's your apartment, too.
- I know, but...
121
00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:52,645
No buts. You got to stop
letting him boss you around.
122
00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:56,739
You're right. I mean, h-he
decides what TV shows we watch,
123
00:05:56,762 --> 00:05:59,328
what food we eat, who
my favorite hobbit is--
124
00:05:59,342 --> 00:06:01,519
I wanted Frodo, but we
can't both have Frodo,
125
00:06:01,538 --> 00:06:03,937
so guess who's stuck
with Samwise Gamgee.
126
00:06:05,386 --> 00:06:07,180
See? Right there.
You're a grown man,
127
00:06:07,206 --> 00:06:09,581
you should be able to pick
whichever hobbit you want.
128
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,357
Wish you wouldn't, but
one problem at a time.
129
00:06:15,717 --> 00:06:17,744
Y-You make a lot of sense.
130
00:06:18,327 --> 00:06:20,609
I like this table,
and I'm getting it.
131
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,703
Really? This one?
132
00:06:24,976 --> 00:06:26,510
That one?
133
00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:28,485
Damn right I
like that one.
134
00:06:30,796 --> 00:06:32,196
(door opens)
135
00:06:32,379 --> 00:06:34,279
- Hey.
- Good news.
136
00:06:34,297 --> 00:06:37,975
Someone in this room gets
to take a ride on a rocket.
137
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,658
Fine. Can I at least
shower first?
138
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,134
No, not that.
139
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,318
Although you already agreed
to it, so no take-backs.
140
00:06:45,868 --> 00:06:48,045
- What are you talking about?
- Sit down.
141
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,197
NASA called.
142
00:06:51,222 --> 00:06:56,002
The telescope mount I installed
on the space station got damaged,
143
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:58,888
and they want me to go
back up and fix it.
144
00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:01,492
Wow.
145
00:07:02,207 --> 00:07:03,494
Well, what did you say?
146
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,942
What do you think
I...? I said yes!
147
00:07:05,948 --> 00:07:07,463
Why do you look surprised?
148
00:07:07,492 --> 00:07:11,231
Well, it's just, after last time, I
didn't think you'd ever want to go back.
149
00:07:11,253 --> 00:07:14,521
Are you kidding? It was the
greatest experience of my life.
150
00:07:14,537 --> 00:07:19,157
Really? 'Cause I kind of remember a lot of
complaining and wishing for it to be over.
151
00:07:20,789 --> 00:07:22,002
I think you have
me confused
152
00:07:22,018 --> 00:07:24,660
with what's gonna happen when
you get out of that shower.
153
00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:31,464
Hey, all set. What
do you think?
154
00:07:31,475 --> 00:07:34,626
There's plenty of room for
everybody, a view out the window.
155
00:07:34,657 --> 00:07:37,285
My spot on the couch has
a great view of a window.
156
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:39,900
Sometimes I can see
space battles through it.
157
00:07:39,922 --> 00:07:41,389
It's called a TV.
158
00:07:42,717 --> 00:07:45,548
Give it a chance, Sheldon;
You might actually like it.
159
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,107
You're absolutely right.
160
00:07:50,792 --> 00:07:52,246
Nope.
161
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,031
Well, you can't say he
didn't give it a fair shot.
162
00:07:57,048 --> 00:07:58,781
So, when can we
get rid of it?
163
00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:00,061
We're not.
164
00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:01,976
What about the
roommate agreement?
165
00:08:01,984 --> 00:08:05,037
It specifically states that
any changes in furnishing
166
00:08:05,063 --> 00:08:07,078
have to be approved by the
Furnishing Committee.
167
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,412
Which only sits on
alternate years.
168
00:08:09,442 --> 00:08:12,132
Yeah, and by the way,
it sits over there.
169
00:08:12,728 --> 00:08:14,428
Come on, that
is ridiculous.
170
00:08:14,456 --> 00:08:17,970
She's right-- a committee that
important should meet more often.
171
00:08:18,383 --> 00:08:20,036
That's not what I'm saying.
172
00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:22,710
Oh. This is the thing about
me standing up to him
173
00:08:22,731 --> 00:08:23,938
and not letting
him run my life?
174
00:08:23,947 --> 00:08:25,163
Yes.
175
00:08:25,391 --> 00:08:26,767
That.
176
00:08:27,704 --> 00:08:30,711
Okay. I think we've
found the problem here.
177
00:08:30,739 --> 00:08:32,452
It's not the table at all.
178
00:08:32,795 --> 00:08:34,935
- It's you.
- Me?
179
00:08:34,957 --> 00:08:36,945
Well, it's always me--
take one for the team.
180
00:08:37,837 --> 00:08:40,344
I have spent years turning
this lump of clay
181
00:08:40,369 --> 00:08:42,609
into an acceptable
conduit for my will,
182
00:08:42,649 --> 00:08:45,256
and then you came along
and reshaped him,
183
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:48,507
with your newfangled ideas
and your fancy genitals.
184
00:08:49,934 --> 00:08:52,134
Are you gonna let him
talk to me like this?
185
00:08:52,161 --> 00:08:54,179
"Fancy" sounds
like a compliment.
186
00:08:54,787 --> 00:08:56,734
Okay, I have not tried
to change Leonard.
187
00:08:56,756 --> 00:08:58,469
That's just what happens
in relationships.
188
00:08:58,493 --> 00:09:00,634
Look how much
Amy's changed you.
189
00:09:00,653 --> 00:09:02,484
- That's not true.
- Oh, please.
190
00:09:02,504 --> 00:09:05,869
When I first met you, you were incapable
of touching another human being.
191
00:09:05,881 --> 00:09:08,561
Now you're holding hands,
you're going on dates,
192
00:09:08,574 --> 00:09:10,869
you even made out
with her on a train.
193
00:09:11,025 --> 00:09:12,232
She told you?!
194
00:09:12,245 --> 00:09:14,142
Of course she told me-- it's
the most interesting thing
195
00:09:14,161 --> 00:09:16,357
that's ever happened to
her in her entire life!
196
00:09:17,671 --> 00:09:21,425
You're too close to it, but Amy
has had a huge impact on you.
197
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:24,051
You're right.
198
00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:28,672
Without realizing it, I've allowed
that woman to alter my personality.
199
00:09:28,798 --> 00:09:30,832
Mm, Sheldon, you didn't
have a personality;
200
00:09:30,851 --> 00:09:32,971
You just had some
shows you liked.
201
00:09:35,683 --> 00:09:36,824
No.
202
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:38,597
No, I've changed.
203
00:09:38,614 --> 00:09:42,394
Like the frog who's put in a pot of
water that's heated so gradually
204
00:09:42,404 --> 00:09:44,697
he doesn't realize
he's boiling to death.
205
00:09:44,729 --> 00:09:48,296
Or you're the frog who's been kissed by
a princess and turned into a prince.
206
00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:50,554
Or you're just a
tall, annoying frog.
207
00:09:51,366 --> 00:09:52,830
Excuse me.
208
00:09:53,104 --> 00:09:54,991
I have to break up
with my girlfriend.
209
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,507
- Oh, Sheldon, wait.
- No.
210
00:09:57,535 --> 00:09:59,782
You've opened my
eyes to the truth.
211
00:09:59,795 --> 00:10:03,742
Amy has made me a more
affectionate, open-minded person.
212
00:10:04,526 --> 00:10:06,269
And that stops now.
213
00:10:08,553 --> 00:10:09,363
(door closes)
214
00:10:09,384 --> 00:10:11,591
- Well, we should call her.
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
215
00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:13,030
(sighs)
216
00:10:13,712 --> 00:10:16,352
Amy, it's Penny. Hey.
Just a little heads-up.
217
00:10:16,428 --> 00:10:18,649
Leonard bought a
dining room table.
218
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:21,300
Yeah. Sheldon's
breaking up with you.
219
00:10:27,997 --> 00:10:30,067
Amy? Amy?
220
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:31,890
Amy?
221
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,203
I'll get right
to the point.
222
00:10:34,218 --> 00:10:37,551
I think we need to end
this relationship-- so...
223
00:10:37,584 --> 00:10:40,492
just sign this with
your finger, and, uh,
224
00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:44,411
please don't cry on my iPad--
I didn't get AppleCare.
225
00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:48,079
I'm not surprised you want
to end the relationship.
226
00:10:48,091 --> 00:10:50,471
I'm a little surprised you
didn't get AppleCare.
227
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,595
Anyway, enjoy your life.
Where do I sign?
228
00:10:54,614 --> 00:10:55,767
At the bottom.
229
00:10:55,795 --> 00:10:59,081
I must say, I'm relieved you're not
making more of a scene out of this.
230
00:10:59,101 --> 00:11:00,794
Oh, I've already moved on.
231
00:11:00,813 --> 00:11:02,758
Besides, this breakup has
nothing to do with me.
232
00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:04,638
Wh... It doesn't?
233
00:11:04,654 --> 00:11:05,943
Of course not.
234
00:11:05,961 --> 00:11:09,379
This is just Leonard trying to take
the focus off that dreadful table
235
00:11:09,392 --> 00:11:11,339
by sowing discord
in our relationship.
236
00:11:11,345 --> 00:11:13,881
He's manipulating you
like he always does.
237
00:11:14,991 --> 00:11:17,074
Wait-wait, now, hang on.
238
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,367
You think he manipulates me?
239
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:20,839
All the time.
240
00:11:21,457 --> 00:11:24,709
And he knew that, as your
girlfriend, I wasn't gonna stand by
241
00:11:24,721 --> 00:11:27,152
and let him bring a table
into your apartment.
242
00:11:27,178 --> 00:11:29,184
I mean, a table? Come on!
243
00:11:31,808 --> 00:11:33,731
It is hideous.
244
00:11:34,352 --> 00:11:37,866
Well, thankfully, I won't have to see it,
'cause I won't be your girlfriend anymore.
245
00:11:38,905 --> 00:11:40,796
Amy Farrah Fowler.
246
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,528
(soft gasp) Why, yes, I would
like to take a survey.
247
00:11:44,101 --> 00:11:45,408
Wait.
248
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:49,914
You were really gonna stand by me
against the dining room table?
249
00:11:50,717 --> 00:11:52,464
Of course I was.
250
00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:54,693
Yeah, wait.
251
00:11:54,722 --> 00:11:58,042
How do I know that you're not
manipulating me right now?
252
00:11:59,672 --> 00:12:03,100
I think if I were manipulating you,
you'd be smart enough to see it.
253
00:12:04,774 --> 00:12:08,320
How do I know you're not saying
that as part of the manipulation?
254
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:12,000
I think you'd be smart
enough to see that, too.
255
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:15,964
Okay.
256
00:12:16,683 --> 00:12:19,411
I'm sorry I gave you such a hard
time-- I just had to be sure.
257
00:12:22,699 --> 00:12:26,298
It's pretty exciting that NASA
wants to send Howard back up.
258
00:12:26,326 --> 00:12:27,934
Yeah, exciting.
259
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,003
- Can I ask you something?
- Course.
260
00:12:31,205 --> 00:12:33,911
He hated that
entire experience.
261
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:37,093
Does it make me an awful wife if I
don't think he should do it again?
262
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,413
Not at all.
263
00:12:38,439 --> 00:12:42,266
He's forgotten how miserable he was
the entire time he was up there.
264
00:12:42,285 --> 00:12:45,204
It's like me in those
moments when I miss India.
265
00:12:46,269 --> 00:12:48,705
- So you'll talk to him?
- Why me?
266
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:51,023
Well, I'm his wife; I don't
want to ruin it for him.
267
00:12:51,044 --> 00:12:53,717
That's the dynamic-- I'm the
fun one, you're the buzzkill.
268
00:12:54,157 --> 00:12:56,415
Since when am I
the buzzkill?
269
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:57,970
Do you think this is cool?
270
00:12:57,989 --> 00:12:59,921
- No, I think it's stupid.
- Aha!
271
00:13:02,498 --> 00:13:04,150
You're right, it's great.
272
00:13:06,979 --> 00:13:08,496
(TV playing quietly)
273
00:13:08,572 --> 00:13:09,939
- Hello.
- Oh, hey.
274
00:13:10,169 --> 00:13:13,707
- You guys didn't break up.
- No. Sorry to disappoint you,
275
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:17,060
but Amy pointed out that you we
only trying to manipulate me.
276
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,484
Which you also figured
out by yourself.
277
00:13:18,509 --> 00:13:20,696
Which I also figured
out by myself.
278
00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:23,777
Well, I'm glad
you're still together.
279
00:13:23,807 --> 00:13:26,867
Yeah, okay, you can stop trying to
make this about our relationship.
280
00:13:26,884 --> 00:13:29,776
- Which is stronger than ever.
- Which is stronger than ever.
281
00:13:30,335 --> 00:13:33,308
This is about you trying
to change my environment,
282
00:13:33,323 --> 00:13:35,278
which was perfect
the way it was.
283
00:13:35,297 --> 00:13:38,156
But it got the way it
was through change.
284
00:13:38,178 --> 00:13:39,972
The-the spot that
you love to sit in,
285
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:43,288
that no one else can sit in,
only exists because--
286
00:13:43,311 --> 00:13:46,438
despite your objections--
I bought this couch.
287
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:51,583
Me. So explain why that change was
bad and this change was good.
288
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,553
Um...
289
00:13:56,042 --> 00:13:57,442
You don't need to explain
yourself to him.
290
00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:59,601
I don't need to explain
myself to you!
291
00:14:00,866 --> 00:14:03,168
You're sick of his nonsense
and ready to move in with me.
292
00:14:03,184 --> 00:14:05,351
Keep the table! We
don't use that space!
293
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,131
Damn it, I got cocky.
294
00:14:16,529 --> 00:14:18,724
Hey, Bernie.
I'm home... Hello.
295
00:14:18,862 --> 00:14:19,889
Hi, honey.
296
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,480
What's going on?
297
00:14:22,221 --> 00:14:24,140
Maybe you should
have a seat.
298
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,120
Um... okay.
299
00:14:26,178 --> 00:14:28,850
(chuckles): I know my mom's not
dead; There'd be balloons.
300
00:14:29,823 --> 00:14:31,563
Um... okay. First off,
301
00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:34,608
know that we all love
you and cherish you.
302
00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:36,455
- Well, I wouldn't...
- Daddy.
303
00:14:37,424 --> 00:14:38,983
You're great.
304
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,242
- MAN: Can I say something?
- Oh, of course.
305
00:14:45,162 --> 00:14:46,753
Hey, Fruit Loops.
306
00:14:47,904 --> 00:14:49,557
Massimino?
Why are you here?
307
00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:52,780
Well, I heard you were thinking about
going back up to the space station,
308
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:55,083
and as someone who's
been there with you...
309
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,568
well, you know how astronauts
need to have the "right stuff"?
310
00:14:57,581 --> 00:14:58,900
Sure.
311
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,091
The stuff you have is wrong.
312
00:15:04,741 --> 00:15:07,250
You don't think I did
a good job up there?
313
00:15:07,265 --> 00:15:08,772
You did a fine job.
314
00:15:08,789 --> 00:15:11,691
It's just, you were scared and
miserable the whole time.
315
00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:14,933
I think what we're all trying
to say is, you don't seem
316
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:18,062
to be remembering how traumatic
the experience was for you.
317
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:21,413
Like how women often forget
the pain of childbirth.
318
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:23,615
Like a woman.
Great analogy.
319
00:15:25,105 --> 00:15:29,310
- Fine, maybe I was a little scared.
- You peed in your space suit.
320
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,883
You're supposed to do that.
321
00:15:31,910 --> 00:15:33,703
Not during the fitting.
322
00:15:35,465 --> 00:15:38,431
Son, do I need to remind you
what you asked me to do
323
00:15:38,444 --> 00:15:40,091
before you went
up last time?
324
00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:43,117
Hang on. That was
just me joking around.
325
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:45,738
You wanted me to shoot
you in the foot.
326
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,369
Come on, how is that not a joke?
"You got to get me out of this.
327
00:15:49,388 --> 00:15:51,353
Shoot me in the foot."
(imitates rimshot)
328
00:15:52,825 --> 00:15:55,692
Don't forget all the other
astronauts picking on you.
329
00:15:55,953 --> 00:15:59,337
And how you threw up in zero gravity,
and it floated back in your mouth.
330
00:16:00,654 --> 00:16:01,874
And you threw up again.
331
00:16:01,906 --> 00:16:04,053
And so on and so on.
332
00:16:06,170 --> 00:16:07,771
That was funny.
333
00:16:08,978 --> 00:16:12,629
Okay, so I wasn't exactly
John Glenn up there,
334
00:16:12,649 --> 00:16:15,729
but I've changed;
I'm a different man now.
335
00:16:15,749 --> 00:16:19,722
Yeah, and I'm a little insulted that
you guys don't think I can handle it.
336
00:16:19,737 --> 00:16:22,530
You know you're gonna have to go
through survival training again.
337
00:16:22,746 --> 00:16:23,486
Really?
338
00:16:23,511 --> 00:16:25,457
You've got to get
me out of this!
339
00:16:26,410 --> 00:16:28,523
What do you want me to do?
You're perfectly healthy.
340
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,486
Check my blood
pressure again!
341
00:16:30,499 --> 00:16:33,004
I can get it higher;
Just give me a second.
342
00:16:35,231 --> 00:16:37,517
- Hello?
- Hi, Ma. How are you?
343
00:16:38,325 --> 00:16:40,409
How I am is not dead!
344
00:16:40,428 --> 00:16:42,981
But you wouldn't know that,
because you don't love me enough
345
00:16:43,007 --> 00:16:44,368
to pick up the phone!
346
00:16:44,388 --> 00:16:46,037
(whispers):
Go, go, go!
347
00:16:46,879 --> 00:16:50,465
For all you know, I could have
slipped in the tub and drowned!
348
00:16:50,485 --> 00:16:52,885
That's what happened
to your Aunt Ida!
349
00:16:54,343 --> 00:16:55,701
Wow.
350
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,984
Howard, I'm so sorry your blood
pressure was off the charts.
351
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:08,424
Oh, me, too. I mean, the doctor was
willing to fudge the results, but...
352
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,536
it just seemed so
darned dishonest.
353
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,613
But the mission wouldn't
be for at least a year.
354
00:17:15,627 --> 00:17:17,443
Isn't that enough time to get
your blood pressure under...
355
00:17:17,455 --> 00:17:20,201
Look, my blood pressure's
too high, okay? Drop it.
356
00:17:22,232 --> 00:17:24,905
PENNY: You know, my aunt changed her
diet, and in a few months, she...
357
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:27,654
Went to space? I don't think so.
Now, pass the soy sauce.
358
00:17:27,674 --> 00:17:29,464
Hey, not the green one;
The red one.
359
00:17:31,055 --> 00:17:33,655
Sheldon, Amy, will you
please come join us?
360
00:17:33,675 --> 00:17:34,912
Yeah, it's fun up here.
361
00:17:34,931 --> 00:17:37,032
So why are you
trying to ruin it?
362
00:17:38,597 --> 00:17:40,731
No, thanks. We're fine.
363
00:17:40,914 --> 00:17:45,002
I mean, if you people want to eat at the
table, then that's what you should do.
364
00:17:45,017 --> 00:17:49,390
I like eating down here because this
is how we've always done things.
365
00:17:49,531 --> 00:17:51,872
But if those days are
gone, they're gone.
366
00:17:51,878 --> 00:17:54,175
It just... makes me sad.
367
00:17:55,995 --> 00:17:57,095
Now I feel bad.
368
00:17:57,115 --> 00:18:00,110
Oh, don't anthropomorphize
him; He's got big eyes,
369
00:18:00,136 --> 00:18:02,335
but his feelings
are not like ours.
370
00:18:05,006 --> 00:18:07,589
No, it just seems silly for
us to sit in two groups.
371
00:18:07,602 --> 00:18:11,931
Well, it's not silly if you think of that
group as being led by a big, evil baby.
372
00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:19,299
Look at Amy down there.
373
00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:21,457
Should we go?
374
00:18:21,938 --> 00:18:25,045
- Yeah, let's go.
- But... Penny, this was your idea.
375
00:18:25,058 --> 00:18:26,997
You said that I should
stand up to him.
376
00:18:27,019 --> 00:18:29,472
Forget it, Leonard.
It's over.
377
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,516
Fine.
378
00:18:38,776 --> 00:18:40,000
Rajesh?
379
00:18:40,025 --> 00:18:43,553
Screw that! I sat on the floor for
seven years. I'm staying right here!
380
00:18:45,027 --> 00:18:47,588
Come on, Raj, it's not
the same without you.
381
00:18:47,973 --> 00:18:48,726
(sighs)
382
00:18:48,746 --> 00:18:50,125
Fine.
383
00:18:51,544 --> 00:18:54,471
But no more making fun
of how I say tings.
384
00:18:54,487 --> 00:18:56,901
You mean "tings"
like "moo-stache"?
385
00:19:03,256 --> 00:19:04,956
Well, isn't this nice.
386
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:09,605
Sometimes the baby wins.
387
00:19:10,699 --> 00:19:15,699
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther